Today I watched this movie again and as always it caught me by surprise.  Reminded me so much of our Annie dog that I had to have put down a few years ago.   The next day I wrote eight pages in my journal about my grief at losing a part of our family.  I have never re-read that part of my diary.

What is it about dogs and animals that touches our hearts so deeply?  I think it is something about the blind loyalty, the longing to be right next to you and the utter dependence.  That is how kids are when they are young.  When they become more independent, it is different.   Yet, when they are young there is the desire to sit on your lap, to hear you read to them and to just hug.

I see that come out in the street kids once in awhile.  Once they trust you they are so hungry for your attention.  They want to be near you.  There just is no love in their life and even a stranger who is Jesus to them is good.  They can recognize the heart of the Father.  Their innocence is and hunger is touching.  Yet, they grow up too.  What will become of them?  Who will they become? 

We have no clue where Nastya is right now or what she is doing.  She is growing up.  This morning as I watched the movie the young guy who had been Skip's faithful friend got on a bus and headed off to college.  Skip sits staring at the bus driving away...like...when is he coming back?  He just doesn't understand that the bus is not returning. 

It tears me up when I get on my bus and look back at Nastya and some of the children standing there.  I told them I cared about them.  Gave them candy, attention and some hope.  And then I drive off.  Sometimes I feel like I have failed with Nastya.  It has been four years and I have not been able to rescue her or many others like her.  Yes, there are those in the foster homes.  But, for today I am feeling failure, like I have betrayed a young girl living in darkness.  I really do not know what to do for her now.